We cannot control the outside circumstances, but we can use some tools to manage our inner world. This helps us to feel as though we have choices regarding both what we do and how we feel about what happens to us.

“We actually have much more control over our lives than we tend to think we do. Especially when we get caught up in one of these stuck loops, it can feel as though our lives are shrinking down around us.

Our inner world and outer world influence one another, and we must learn how to navigate that.

For me these three tools, PAUSE, TEA and MASK helps me to make my emotions my ally.

In this blog I am covering the tool MASK.

I sat with my anger long enough until she told me her real name was grief. Humans are complex and a lot of our behaviors just don’t seem to make logical sense. But people behave the way they do for a reason, and frequently that reason is tied to emotion.

It’s very important to remember that no emotion is GOOD or BAD. So, validate and then start exploring and ask yourself:

1)    What am I feeling?

2)    Is this just tip of the iceberg? Is there a possibility that what is invisible is masked by what is visible?

3)    What else I am feeling?

For eg, anger can be a mask to cover true feelings, like fear, jealousy, frustration, powerlessness. It might be a way of dealing with the situation when you haven’t processed the real feelings behind it.

The current display of emotion might be masking other emotions that one might be experiencing.

Exploring your emotions lets you understand a large part of what is masked beneath the surface – in yourself and in others. As you come to understand these emotional drivers, you will become more able to strategically use emotions to get optimal results.

These three tools, Pause, Tea, Mask, can help anyone to move from reaction to response, more being on autopilot to being intentional.